i didnt wish for this

thats the title and the exact opposite of what i am supposed to do on wednesdays! killing two birds with one lion!

its been too long since we talked

i miss you and you cant be bothered to drop a line

now what am i supposed to do with these feelings of mine

its like you dropped off the face of the earth

as if we never were freinds, everything was all a lie

and when it ended,you couldnt be bothered to say good-bye

its knowing theres absolutely nothing i can do

to make everything the way it used to be between us

that hurts the most,like robots were outdated and weve begun to rust

its the worst when i remember how much of you i know

i knew this was eventually going to end and you wouldnt care

it just stung more when i needed you most and you werent there

its getting unbearable this kind of pain

i keep wondering what i did for you to keep on hurting me

like i deserve to be let down and left out to spoil continuously

its too much knowing i did all i could

and still i am nothing but a passer-by to you

when you are the reason i know about love what i do

its unfair how little i mean to you

when i sit by hoping someday you will call

while i lay in bed at night wishing i could forget it all

unlike most of my writing, this is only about a friend. not some girl i liked. i loved her, she was my friend. i guess she still is, we just arent as close as we used to be, and that hurts me. i used to know everything about her, and now we keep growing more and more distant. and sometimes i think about how close we used to be and how sad it is that we lost touch like that. i used to see her all the time and i knew everything about her-though it felt as if the knowledge was not reciprocated-and i thought i always would. i have always been good at remembering things most other people dont. like when i tell someone something important, what someone said that made a difference to me, the last time i cuddled. i guess thats why some people call me sweet. i need to look up the definition of that word, because i am described with it often.

sweetheart has a better definition:

a person loved by another person

a well-liked individual

a very attractive or seductive looking woman (!)

privilaged treatment of an individual