so, my grandfather passed away last night. i never really knew him well, but it is the first death that has touched my life through my family. he was my dads moms husband (my fathers parents divorced and remarried so i have three paris of grandparents) and its shaken me up. life is so short, and death can come at anytime, to anyone. it makes you grateful for what you have and how quickly it can all be taken away. ive never even been to a funeral before, and now here i am. it doesnt even feel like its real. i never saw my grandpa much, only at christmas time.
my grandfather lived a happy long life, but not everyone does. and thats what scares me. i might die before i am ready to go. and what then? mostly what i hope to find before i die, is find someone to loave. i hope thats not too much to ask, of whatever higher being there is. i believe in God, but im no religious nut. i just hope i get to love someone as much as i know i can. i like to think i have a big heart, and i want to use it.
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