fell too hard

so i fell too hard for this straight girl. yeah, straight. i first noticed her my sophmore year of highschool. and you know, i admired her beauty and natural talent. so i kinda followed her around like a puppy. and she didnt really notice, but when she did i was esctatic. then junior year i really started to fall for her. i fell asleep thinking of her, i woke up from dreams about her, and day dreamed about her.

i always fantasized about kissing her...it was starting to get pathetic though i didnt realize it at the time. i tried to talk to her, but was too intimidated to say much, so i resorted to texting. i knew she always had her phone but she somehow found a way to ignore me. and that just made me want her more-something about an impossiblity.

so i went on pining after her, and my friends started to get annoyed with my complaining. then a crazy idea popped into my head the summer inbetween junior and senior year. why not tell her? almost immediately i shot it down, but it kept creeping into my head whispering encouragement to tell her. and eventually i kept toying with it, and making up fake plans. i started talking about it outloud and then the plans became more real. i knew i couldnt face her when i told her, so i resorted to a note. ihad written out what i wanted to say so often the note took care of itself, but when to tell her?

eventually i just kept the note with me at all times. i decided to tell her six months after i came out to her, which i doubt she noticed the date. so i dropped it off in her hands and took off as fast as my legs would carry me. and she said it was fine, but then she started ignoring me. and just blocked me off. i thought whatever since i wont see you next year, but she kept fucking showing up. that was the worst because when she was around it was like i didnt exist. my friends were sympathetic but tiring of my constant bickering. she eventually just dropped off the radar, and i tried to let her go. it took till my senior year to get over her. three years. i fell too fucking hard. i never want to come close to that for a straight girl ever ever ever EVER again. the end.

best dream ever

ladies, i think i had the best dream i have ever had. it's simple yes, its short, and its sweet. heres what happened- i was living by the skin of my teeth, barely getting by. i was so poor i didnt know where i was sleeping that night or how i was gonna get food, but i had family and i had the love of my life with me. we had packs of our personal belongings, for me i had my journals, some clothes and other small things. those were the only things to our names, what was in those bags. but we felt alive, and we felt blissful.we went into fancy stored to try on new things, but always walked out empty-handed, and we were okay with that because what we lacked in physical posessions, we made up in making eachother happy. we always ended up aat salvation armies and the like thrift stores when we needed new clothes and no one really minded. we went on adventures to abandoned buildings and new cities everyday. and we were happy. when we laid our heads to sleep we had beside us someone we loved. my girlfriend and i were asleep on a used couch and we were cozy, we kept eachother warm. and in the morning, the love of my life woke before me and to wake me up she gently brushed my hair out of my face. i woke to see the shining, smiling face of this girl that i could not believe loved me. she was beautiful and kind and sweet and compassionate and understanding, and in love with someone like me. and i dont have the highest self esteem in the world, so it felt absolutely amazing to see such an incredible girl smiling at me as the first thing i see on a new day. for me, its the small things that make the difference for me. so when my girlfriend does something with such genuine gentleness was the most beautiful thing ever. and unfortunately for me, i woke up to find out it wasn't real. i had no girlfriend that loves me like that. yet. i guess a girl can dream.

requirement

so, as a lesbian, i am expected to go to all the gay parts of town right? well, i havent. and it is slightly shameful to admit it. and i desparately want to, i just havent had anyone to go with. even i know you cant go to gaytown alone, thats just asking for trouble. so i guess i will just have to settle for hooters and the like. sigh, i'd love it if someone would accompany me to boystown but the problem is, i have to girl to go with.
man, i wanna grind with hotties who can dance. oh, dancing is so sexy, if i had better rythm i would dance more often than i do now. any girl that can dance gets extra bonus points in my book. i cant wait to get my friends together to go out and party. gays always have better parties. boystown always sounds like so much fun, and i would like to be the judge of that.

cleavage

God's gift to all those who are willing to take a gander at such a marvelous creation. look at them, they defy all laws of gravity. it's unbelievable how its so easy to stare at something i know i have. i know it's rude to look at those two than someones eyes, but with cleavage like this, you cant help but lower your gaze. if youve seen a certian italian show, you know who this is, as vinny said "jenny you forgot your shirt" and everyone can see that she did. her excuse for a shirt doesnt cover much. and i dont really see anyone complaining! its so easy to lose you concentration if a girl with too much cleavage walks by you on the street, or in a store, or in a resturaunt, or on the beach. why yes, i do want fries with that shake. thats all transformers did-have megan fox run around without a proper bra. and it sold. a lot.

come on, seriously? what do you expect to get if you actually put this into a movie. of course it was popular, but a third movie, that's just pushing it too far. there can't be much plot to it. sorry, i went off track. any way, cleavage. i am a boobs woman, and i saw a great little comic to prove its best to be a boobs person.

http://www.overcompensating.com/posts/20100806.html

fabulous isn't it?

i love the beach

i love the beach so much. why? sun, sand, water, and gorgeous women all around. simple as that. why wouldnt anyone like the beach? wear sunscreen, bring an extra change of clothes, and a good attitude and the beach practically guarantees a good time. you can tan, you can read, you can sleep-in the shade, you can play in the water, you can play volleyball, you can run, you can lounge, you can eat, the list can go on and on. the only downside is trying to find parking. in chicago youll be lucky to find a spot close by, usually it takes forever to find a place to park on a busy day. but the beach is worth it. mostly because you get to stare at beautiful women shamelessly while they flaunt their bodies sun-bathing in bikinis. you could even get lucky enough to help apply tanning oil on said lady's back. sometimes i feel like a man cant really appreciate all the hard work women put in to make themselves look so atractive. for some reason men are dense and that makes their understanding of the female mind slow and mostly incorrect. some women work very hard to get the best body they can, and i think that deserves applause, recognition and attention. its nice ot see women walk around confidently, and show their stuff. the best is when an attractive woman catches you staring and gives you the look that says "i see you staring, but oddly enough i dont mind. in fact, it makes me feel good about myself so i'll leave it at that" and you look away because you got caught at something slightly enbarassing. or you could stare into her eyes hoping shell stare back and then youll have just picked up yourself a new lady-friend. though i must warn you, this doesnt actually happen all that often; usually its the first option. but youd get credit for trying. to be honest, id almost be pissed that it worked for you and not me. what do you have that i dont?

i wish wednesday

I CANT BELIEVE I FORGOT ABOUT IT, so sorry its a couple days late!

okay, so my wish this week is jordana brewster. i recently watched D.E.B.s which is about girls in mini skirts supposedly fighting crime. there are these spies who run around thinking theyre invisible because they are always in broad daylight in plain view of any enemy. talk about missing basic training. whatever, i only really paid attention and watched this movie because of this woman, she is so attractive! sure she didnt wear the plaid skirts but she was wearing tight jumpsuits, and she did make out with another attractive lady. what more could you ask for of a movie?

i am a sucker for a woman who takes charge and she sure as hell did. demanding to go on a date at gun point, crossing forcefields, robbing banks, kidnapping, being on top. i wanted to go with her to barcelona instead of the other chick who was too afraid to follow her gut on anything. she was so good at lying she completely lied to herself. jordana could do better than a woman who up and ditched her for some snooty-supposed-to-be-spies. but i can see why the blonde fell for the life of crime. if brewster were the leader of all crime, hell, i'd go to the dark side too. i'd pretend to be kidnapped if she were the kidnapper. have you read the last name? anyone with the last name brewster has to be fantastic. too bad she's actually straight and married to a guy named andrew form. if i could get her to cheat on her hubby and have a lesbian affair, id probably take the chance of cheating on someone to be with this woman. i would shit a brick if i got to be with a woman like her.

uggh, just hot.

nice suit, nice cleavage. nice everything. can you keep me hostage?

sometimes women are just as sexy with clothes on rather than fewer. with her it works either way.

sorry i was so late, does my wish make up for being a teensy bit late?

biker babes

bike ads are nice to place attractive women.

i ride my bike all the time. its nice to see others biking as well. its even better when the other people biking are attractive women. plus i bet it gets many guys to bike, if you were to see this woman biking by you as you walked wouldnt you wish you could bike next to her instead of watching her pass by? sure she may get a little sweaty but then that means she needs to take a shower, and if you were with het, that may mean you could help her get those harder to reach spots. whew letting my mind run a little bit rampant, should i tone it down? nah. if you dont like it, dont read it.

so shes a little dirty, but she has nice legs,who cares about some mud?

i think its become pretty obvious that almost every famous woman athlete is extremely attractive, she is no different. even if she has some dirt in her teeth, they are otherwise practically perfect. practically perfect teeth, perfect legs, nice abs, whats not to like?

black and white, old school. just as hot

so i think you get a glimpse of why i like to ride my bike. i think its kind of obvious and if you dont get it, im not spelling it out for you. though by now i have hand tan lines because of the biking gloves i wear, how dumb can i be?

never crossed my mind

yesterday i was on facebook, because who isnt? and i thought-on a whim-i should look up my best friend from first grade. we did everything together until he moved away. it occured to me that if i have a fb he would to. so i looked him up on the search tool thingy, and behold! i found him! the wierd thing is he looks kinda like justin bieber, only my friend is a ladies man. even back then, he was getting the girls-me! i remember we were on the schools playground, by the slide, he kissed me on the cheek and ran away. and i was like six, so i chased after him, nothing more happened i think we just ignored it. but we had the best of times, and hes a great guy. if i wasnt gay, id love to have been with a guy like him. i guess i'll just make sure whoever he finds is good enough haha

tis only a book babe

for some reason, the book "far from xanadu" keeps resonating with me. i dont know what it is about the book, about the main charachter, i cant just let it go. reading the book makes me feel like a live wire. it makes me feel jittery, restless, anxious, heated, hyper, and just plain wierd, i dont know whats gotten into me. theres something special about this book for me, i can just relate to Mike, how she feels, what she goes through. when she feels heartache it makes me hurt, when she feels joy it makes me beam, when she gets pissed it makes me steam. i dont know what to do with this immense feeling i have for this imaginary charachter is almost unbelieveable. i wanted to make her feel better, i wanted to hate xanadu for doing this to her, but i couldnt bring myself to. i almost fell in love with xanadu myself as hard as mike did, and that made it hard for me to hate her as much as i knew i should. i loved connecting with mike, but when i closed the cover, i wished she were real. though she stays in the vacancy in my head.

damn bounty hunters, they're like gnats

the other day my friend and i were bored, so we just started looking up attractive looking people to quell our boredom. it was actually pretty fun. looking at hot women is always a great way to pass the time. i actually had a dream with the charmed girls it it. back when prue was alive, yeah she was pretty. basically we sat on a cruise ship and joked around. phoebe and prue were talking and piper was off doing something so i was just looking around. prue noticed i was just spacing out and turned her attention to me. she's stunning and made me go weak at the knees, i was a goner as soon as her green eyes bore into mine. she asked what i was thinking about, and ni said how i felt a bit left out because i was on my own on this cruise. she said i wasn't, that i had three sisters to talk to. and i laughed, and took her bracelet and she and i commenced to wrestling (i know, hot right?) over posession of her bracelet. then some other things that don't really matter happened and i woke up. but i sorta wanted it to last longer, and for it to be real. oh well, guess i'll make do with other beautiful women.

i wish wednesday

come on don't you wish she were too. for some reason i had in my head that she was a lesbian or atleast bisexual. what with her always playing the bad ass role and dying on us because the directors have no idea what to do with a girl in charge. theres just something about her that makes me wish she were gay. maybe its that smile-that "i know youre not just looking at my face, and i caught you at it, but im gonna let it go". or maybe its just her smoking hot body. either way, i cant help but with there was something to those M-Rod rumors of her switching sides for us.

look at that. how can you not want her to take advantage of the fact that she has a gun and you dont to have her way with you?

looks like she pretty handy when it comes to a lot of things

that smile is heart breaking

so yup, thats who i wish for this week. sadly i doubt wishing will make anything change in actuality. though if she were to knock down my door and demand me to do down and dirty things, for her i would.

everyone's getting in on it

okay, Zooey Deschanel or Katy Perry?
its simple for me, Zooey all the way
she sings better-without auto tone
she is much classier-doesn't use her body to get what she wants
she can act-Katy perry's never even tried
and shes just hot.
shes got a banging body and an innocent look about her. shes just got that smile that says "hey, i need a little help and im betting you can help me" and you cant help but help a damsel in distress.
plus, i liked her before i liked katy perry
what with all that i kissed a girl crap just to get attention, i didnt like her for a while. with Zooey i liked her from the get-go. you cant help but stick with the girl you crushed on first, they last longer than some passing fancy for a come and go singer.
dont get me wrong, perry is attractive and more power to you if you thinkn nyou have a chance, shes just not my cup of tea. i prefer indie.